Proud. Black. Father

Another prominent black writer takes the Oscar-nominated movie “Precious” to task for dealing in stereotypes and demeaning all black people. He makes the case that it is a favorite of only white people. I saw the movie and thought it was gritty, moving … and necessary. If I didn’t have abundant experience — in my personal and professional lives — with the types of young people struggling the way the main character in “Precious” did, maybe I’d be as upset as that writer seems to be. But I’m not, because I know such young people exist — and they need our help, not our shame or cold shoulder. I’m working on a real-life “Precious” story right now concerning a girl who was abused multiple times by family members and the social services system. She’s not fictional. We shouldn’t be ashamed of girls like her. And we shouldn’t deny the ugly — because that’s the only chance we have to defeat it.

A reader emailed me this morning after reading my column in which I urged President Obama to remain strong and steadfast on the major issues of the day no matter how unpopular they are, such as health care reform. The emailer is not an Obama fan and included various points of criticism in the message, which is nothing new. All presidents face criticism, the fair and unfair kind. What was different is how he ended the message, by saying this: “So much for experimenting with minority presidents.”

It’s easy to assume he’s a racist. Maybe he (or she) is. He didn’t leave a name or say much else, so it’s hard to judge without knowing more about him. Or maybe he’s not and is only operating from a place that his brain is on autopilot — which is the reality for most of us too often, even if we are loathe to admit as much. For years, I’ve been making that case and why I don’t reflexively call people racist or call for the likes of Don Imus to be immediately fired when they say something that can be deemed racist or racially insensitive, because I know that on autopilot, what we often think or do is not done purposefully but is evidence of society’s influence on our thinking. That has now been confirmed by brain research, which is discussed in books such as “NurtureShock” and “The Hidden Brain.” Mybook, “Proud. Black. Southern (But I Still Don’t Eat Watermelon in Front of White People)” also deals with these kinds of issues. I go into even more depth in group and book discussions I lead and single and multi-day seminars I conduct. It’s eye opening stuff and worth your time and money. If your organization wants to learn more about potential dates to hold a discussion or seminar, get in touch with us at tbailey1972@aol.com or through this Website.

One of the most frequent and perplexing questions I get from people when I conduct book signings and discussions is this: “Why do black people call themselves African-American? Don’t they know that’s divisive and that we all should just be called American?”

I usually respond by asking how that simple term divides us in ways other terms — like Southerner or Christian or progressive or conservative or Tar Heel — don’t. They usually don’t have a good answer other than to say it’s different because it involves race. I don’t mind being called African-American, African American, black, young, Southerner, father, son, husband. It’s not that big of a deal to me. Call me Issac. But linguist and commentator John McWhorter argues that it is time for the term to go. McWhorter is a thoughtful black man. Check out his reasoning.

From McWhorter’s piece: “I would argue that native-born blacks are so vastly less “African” than actual Africans that calling ourselves “African American” is not only illogical but almost disrespectful to African immigrants. Here are people who were born in Africa, speak African languages, eat African food, dance in African ways, remember African stories, and will spiritually always be a part of Africa–and we stand up and insist that we, too, are “African” because Jesse Jackson said so?” Read the entire piece here.

I wonder if Michael Steele, the first black head of the Republican National Committee, which helps raise funds and supports GOP political candidates, among other things, recognizes the irony. He is a top leader and an anti-affirmative action guy in an anti-affirmative action political party, but affirmative action maybe the primary reason he still has a job despite all of his gaffes, mistakes and questionable behavior. GOP insiders are saying no matter how much he screws up, he won’t be forced out because of “the optics,” meaning it would look bad on the party to oust its first black chairman. But doesn’t the party claim that it is all about merit and performance, and that race plays no role in its thinking,  just as they say it should play no role in other positions and programs? It’s easy to figure out what people and parties really stand for. Don’t listen to their rhetoric, in this case about affirmative action. Judge them by their actions. Maybe this is the GOP’s way of signaling it has reconsidered its thinking on affirmative action and now supports the policy? Either way, Steele is actually hurting both sides of the issue. If he is retaining his job primarily because of his race — despite what some believe is incompetence — then it looks bad for the GOP, makes the party look gutless, and it is bad for affirmative action itself. Proponents of the policy believe in it, not to shield incompetence, but to give all those who are qualified a fair shake. Steele maybe the worsts of both worlds.

Commentator John McWhorter says a new CD by Bill Cosby, which emphasizes the things that need to be done to rid ourselves of some of the ills in “the black community,” is an ideal Christmas gift. I agree with the sentiment of the CD, as well as McWhorter’s, though I have a slight bone to pick with each of them. Cosby made waves five years ago when he used harsh language to call out black people he thought were not holding up their end of the bargain, that they were taking the gains made through the Civil Rights Movement for granted. To those who love what he said, the message of personal responsibility was the only thing acknowledged. Who can be against personal responsibility? Read the rest of this entry »

President Obama is taking his time making what will likely be the most important decision of his administration. What to do about Afghanistan? Send in an additional 40,000 troops — on top of the 20,000 or so he’s already authorized — or pull back into a more tepid counter-terrorism operation and get most of the troops out of there? There seems to be no real consensus on what should be done, though public support is dwindling for what is becoming America’s longest war. A writer whose been covering the ongoings in the region up close and personal makes the case that we should send the generals the extra troops they need, that we need to adopt Afghanistan. Thinking back to the late 1980s, when we helped the Afghans help us by defeating the Soviet Union and essential end the Cold War, then left the country in the horrible state it remains — no real infrastructure or educational and credible political system, etc. … that gave rise to the Taliban and became a safe haven for Al Qaeda, and we all know what that resulted in. If we abandon the place again too early, why shouldn’t we expect the same result down the line?

Pay attention to this case out of Texas: Texas governor questioned over handling of death penalty case. The evidence in this case is abundantly clear: Texas put an innocent man to death. There’s no way this is the first such case in Texas or elsewhere, but it is the first one in which the evidence is overwhelming and extremely hard to refute. And that’s what makes this so ugly. Texas Gov. Rick Perry, instead of standing up and saying we need to do better to make sure this doesn’t happen again, is trying his best to derail an investigation that will officially say what all the experts who have looked at the case already have said: That Texas killed an innocent man. Read the rest of this entry »

Another potentially overblown controversy is growing about Rush Limbaugh’s attempts to become a part owner in the National Football League.I’m no fan of Limbaugh. I think he’s one of the most divisive men in the country. But I also don’t care much at all if he becomes part owner of the St. Louis Rams. Read the rest of this entry »

I got another one of those voice mails this morning, the kind I wrote about in “Proud. Black. Southern. (But I Still Don’t Eat Watermelon in Front of White People.)” I will be signing books tomorrow, Sept. 12, at this freedom, gospel event at Futrell Park in Myrtle Beach tomorrow, which is scheduled from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m.

The caller — he didn’t leave a name or name — called President Barack Obama, his family and me an assortment of names.  At the end of the message — I printed it at the end of this post because of the language– he got more personal and left a few threats as well. I ignore most such messages — which don’t come often and are not representative of most of my readers, black, white, Latino or Asian – because they are mostly crass and silly. I erase them when they come through voicemail, chunk them when they come through snail mail and delete the emails. Most of them. But I’m keeping this one for two reasons: I’ve been urged to report any threats that seem potentially real to have such things on file. I will do that. But I’m mostly keeping and noting it here because I think it is representative of a growing dangerous theme that is emerging in this age of Obama, which was supposed to usher in a post-racial world. By the way, what is a post-racial world? I’ve never understood that term and why anyone thinks it’s even possible or desirable.

The tone of the conversation is beginning to turn from simply silly and annoying and uncivil to nasty and potentially dangerous. It’s not something being done by the majority in the area in which I live, not the majority of Americans at those Tea Party events, or the majority overall. It’s a tiny minority I hope doesn’t come off it’s hinges any time soon. That’s why I think it’s important for the rest of us to recognize and acknowledge that reality and remember it while we have necessary, heated debates about politics, race, health care and everything else. One of the reasons I wrote “Proud. Black. Southern.” was to try to elevate and deepen the conversation about race, which really means the conversation about how we relate to one another, how we speak to one another, hear each other. When I get voice mails such as these, it gives me pause because it makes me angry, and my initial response is always, “Bring it on. Please try to bitch slap me.” But I’ll try to not let that primal urge blind me to the bigger picture, which always includes this truth: “Ours is in the doing; the rest is not up to us.” We can control our anger, can control how we treat others, can control how much we contribute to bettering society. We can’t stop the voices in messages like that voicemail. But we can continue to lead from where we are. We can lead a life that brings more light into the world.

I tried to transcribe the voicemail as best as possible. Here it is:
“You keep trying to say what Obama is trying to teach our kids? Obama can’t even learn nothing his self, and any stupid ass like you oughta go somewhere and go live with your brothers overseas. Anybody that let their own brother live over there for 15 dollars a year is a dumb ass. Anybody whose mother is in the country illegaly is a dumb ass. [unitelligable] … He was born on a ship; that’s not in America. And this insurance deal that he’s trying to push? We don’t need it, we don’t need him or him playing the little black boy for the Democratic party. Their using him like  they always have. But you ain’t … but you and him, his dumb ass wife and his retarded children aren’t bright enough to see that.  But ya’ll ain’t never been that bright, you can tell by looking at you; You need to get out of the paper before somebody actually grabs you personally and fucking shuts you up. You need to shut up. You don’t know what you are writing about and you are not wanted in this paper. The locals don’t like you and Americans don’t like you. So before somebody bitch slaps your ass, I’d move.”